Sorry seems to be the hardest
word… so says Elton John. When was the
last time you said you were sorry? Most
of us avoid it like the plague. The good
news is that we don’t need to make apologies if we don’t make any mistakes or
have the need to say we’re sorry. Right. Making mistakes is an important part of being
human; therefore, we’re obligated on many levels to apologize for things both personal
and business-related.
Personal apologies: We use these because it’s the right thing to
do, but also because we have a moral obligation to do so. When we apologize, it shows that we care
enough about the other person to make the effort. To very few people, it comes easy. To all of us, it’s needed.
Business apologies: Some believe these are also because it’s the right thing to do. I believe it’s more and more because it’s the
smart thing to do. The apology is often offered because the
business relationship can be improved by it.
In other words, it’s in our self-interest to do so.
In either case, the apology must
be sincere. You see, we all have these
built in BS detectors that go haywire when someone is apologizing and they don’t
seem to mean it or really own it.
That can even make things worse. Here’s
a checklist on what I’d consider a good apology:
- Do it right away.
This will serve to get things out there and rebuild the relationship
more easily than allowing it to fester into something bigger.
- Acknowledge the issue and the impact of it. This is the first step toward regaining trust.
- Own the issue. Take responsibility.
- Express sincere and authentic regret about it.
- Explain what you’ll do to make it right. Or sometimes it’s best to ask the other
person for ideas on how you can make it right… then be prepared to do it, no
matter how small. I say small because most people won’t push you
too hard when you’re making an apology.
They’ll normally appreciate the gesture and allow you to “bow out
gracefully”… that is unless it’s a repetitive thing for you.
The apology, after all, isn’t about you. It’s
not to help you with the guilt, although it may help with that. It’s for the other person or the business
partner that’s been wronged. The next time you have the opportunity to
apologize, be empathetic. Ask yourself “how
would I react to this apology?” Then
make the investment in the personal or business relationship and say it like
you really mean it. Or they’ll know
better.

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